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Scenario 1 - - most common
You are both still speaking with one another. You have both been told or have decided that you do NOT wish to spend $30,000 or more on lawyers since you are in basic agreement with one another.
Nothing is really moving forward because neither party really knows what to do.
One of you meets somebody. All-of-a-sudden, getting the divorce finalized becomes a priority - - even though absolutely NOTHING has been done to even start the process.
Your spouse, once again hoping to save money, goes to a paralegal or to the courthouse to file the forms. He/She is not really familiar with the paperwork, but someone tells them they are the Petitioner and you are the Respondent. Maybe your partner tells you he/she filed - - maybe they forget to tell you.
BUT, within a week, a sheriff or process server knocks on your door and hands you the papers. THIS MOMENT, EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW IT IS INEVITABLE, IS ONE OF THE MOST PAINFUL EXPERIENCES KNOWN TO MANKIND. But you get over the initial shock - not the anger, just the shock.
The papers require that you respond within 30 days. You call your spouse and ask what’s going on. He/She tells you they’re just trying to save money and just sign the papers and things will get handled.
Do you sign the papers?? Most people do not. They don’t know what to do, so they see a lawyer. Many lawyers seize this moment to inform you that your spouse is trying to take advantage of you and that you are owed or will get tons of money if you enlist his/her services. You are still mad that your partner filed papers “behind your back.” You really have no options since you have no idea how to respond to the papers served on you. You hire the attorney.
You write a check for 5, 10, 15 thousand dollars and the process begins.
Simple divorce where no one is fighting and no children and no alimony usually runs somewhere around 20 to 30 thousand dollars. Add any of the above issues or other property disputes or real property ownership into the equation and you will be extremely lucky to get out under 100,000 dollars - - EXTREMELY LUCKY.
Divorce through attorneys is one of the most punishing processes a person can experience. The goal for many attorneys is to keep the respective spouses so upset (mad) with one another, that the bills just keep piling up. As long as you’re not speaking, your lawyers are both being paid. Three to five year property settlements or child custody and alimony disputes are NOT unusual.
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